But what lies beyond this gross over-simplification? Let’s drill down. Yep, the narc’s point around No Contact, the silent treatment & ghosting all being about silence is 100% correct. The strength and courage required is mighty, and the depth of sadness one of real grief*. And for the empath or codependent, this is unfathomably difficult. For the simple reason that notwithstanding the abuse, for many, this means walking away from someone you love. To do so, to engage in any way, only prolongs the abuse and the harm sustained.ĭespite what some may suppose who have blessedly not experienced narcissistic abuse, the decision is agonising and deeply distressing. Specifically, this means that for many, when the decision is reached, there can be no goodbye, no explanation provided to the other party as to why you need to do this. These circumstances force not only the conclusion that No Contact is necessary for survival, but also the devastating understanding that there will be no closure. The only thing you can control, is to remove yourself from it.
It is about preventing exposure to any further abuse to begin healing and reclaiming a life of freedom. No Contact is frequently the last option for victims of narcissistic abuse who are pushed to do so as a self-preservation measure. It also relates to blocking indirect dealings such as via the narcissist’s flying monkeys. No receiving nor responding to any meet ups, phone calls, text messages, social media bombs, letters, emails etc.
This includes all direct forms of communication with the narcissist. It is the active prevention of interaction of any sort. No Contact involves severing all ties and communication channels with a narcissist (or other Cluster B Personality Disoder’d individual) who has caused you ongoing damage through abuse. the silent treatment & ghosting, so that you can rest soundly knowing the differences between them are just as great as the contrast between you and the narc. You have no more time nor energy for any more of their nonsense. Gorgeous one, do not let them! You have more than enough to work on right now in recovery. Regardless of the fact you are no longer in contact, if you fall for this they are still controlling and manipulating you. Unsurprisingly, and completely intentionally on the part of the narcissist, this triggers your fears, causing you further harm in the murky waters of spiralling self-doubt. And of course, they are the poor, long suffering victim. Their “logic” goes like this: The silent treatment is a form of emotional abuse used by narcissists.
It is seized as ‘solid evidence’ that you are one sick puppy, truly narcissistic! The act of going No Contact (especially within the context of removing yourself from dysfunctional narcissistic family systems), is perfect because it offers fodder for their campaign. Entirely false yet irksome information eventually makes its way to as a result (for more on this read Narcissist’s and smear campaigns: Why they do it). Inevitably when you make the decision to go No Contact, the narcissist will launch a smear campaign. Going No Contact offers the narcissist a golden opportunity to exacerbate your fretting over this specific concern.
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